Procrastination. Whether you admit it or not, we are all guilty of doing this at some point in our lives. Some of you put off going to the gym, and some of you leave that huge project to the night before. I have no issue admitting that I have a problem with procrastination. I have been procrastinating this blog entry since the day it was assigned, and now I find myself typing this entry the day before it's due. Welcome to the life of a professional procrastinator.
One of my typical methods of procrastination is the classic do all the work the night before technique. If I get assigned something in class and the assignment is due in a week, I'll usually put off that assignment until the night before it is due. If you already think that's bad, listen to this. When I get these week long assignments, I always get time in class to work on them. However, since I am a "professional" procrastinator, I'm not about that "use your time wisely in class" life. A true procrastinator does maybe a minute of work max, and then does the rest of the work the day before the assignment is due. If you find yourself actually doing work in class, you're doing it wrong.
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Live by this motto! Image courtesy of Puravidamultimedia |
This next type of procrastination is a very common procrastination technique. This is called the "Sit Down With An Original Goal To Get Things Done and Get Nothing Done After A Couple of Hours Technique." Sometimes I'm ashamed of my bad habit of procrastination, so once in a while I'll sit down and actually try to do my work in advance. However whenever I do this, I end up getting extremely distracted and end up at a Nigel Thornberry compilation or Pepe the Frog memes when my original goal was to do some Vital Vocab.
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Image courtesy of Twitter |
If you actually want to become a procrastinator, you're in luck because I happen to be an extremely good one. Here are two world class professional tips on how to become one. (PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY DO THIS)
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Image courtesy of Meme Storage |
1. Don't use your time wisely in class. If you want to become a true procrastinator, you need to do anything but the assignment. Go on Youtube, your phone, or anything that will distract you from doing your work.
2. Do not care about anything except for the due date. If you have an assignment due in a couple of days, do nothing until the day before your assignment is due. This is a basic skill any procrastinator needs to possess in order to succeed in the procrastination community.
Before you say anything, yes I know that in my later years of high school and in college these procrastination techniques will not be as effective. If I keep this habit up, I will most likely be serving you your Big Mac at McDonalds as you look at me with a look of pity, but that is beyond the point. I want to let all of you know that you don't need to worry about me. I, Cameron Chevre, will serve proudly as a professional procrastinator until my life crumbles before my eyes and I have to move back in with my parents.
So peace out fam, I'll see you at the next due date.
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